


Look The Other Way

by Lurkch



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 10:30:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10739868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lurkch/pseuds/Lurkch
Summary: Based on the prompt: “Explain to me why you skipped coming to see me about this and went straight to this alternative horseshit?”For the Write Away The Winter Blues Challenge (2017) on Tumblr.





	Look The Other Way

**“Explain to me why you skipped coming to see me about this and went straight to this alternative horseshit?”** Dr. Leonard McCoy asked you, pulling the curtain back from around the bio bed, the rings scraping against the bar as he flung it closed behind him.

“Don’t yell at me,” you said between clenched teeth from where you were sitting on the bio bed. Seriously, the day was bad enough. Yelling at this point was just unnecessary cruelty.

“I yell because I care, dammit,” he said, quieter than before but certainly nowhere near a regular speaking voice as he approached the bio bed.

“Well, care a little more quietly. I’ve gone blind, not deaf.”  

You could hear the whirring of the tricorder and the movement of air around your face as he waved the device around, assessing your vision. What you couldn’t do was see, not that it was remotely necessary in order to imagine the look on his face.

“What the Hell were you thinking?” He growled at you. There was a pause while he presumably assessed the tricorders readings. “Goddamn snake oil energy booster horseshit.”

“I was thinking I’d avoid a lecture by the pissiest doctor in the ‘Fleet.” You crossed your arms over your chest in an effort to look angry, rather than scared shitless because halfway through your shift your vision had started to blur, and since then it had deteriorated further so that all you saw was a dull smear of shadows and light. Now even that was fading.

“Yeah? How’s that workin’ out for ya?” His voice came from a different point from when he’d last spoken. Somewhere around the meds cabinet. You turned your head to where you thought he was before answering.

“Not well, thanks for asking.” You flinched as there was an unannounced sting against your neck as he suddenly reappeared and injected a hypospray. You winced and narrowed your eyes at where you thought he was. He was most definitely pissed if he didn’t even warn you given that he knew damn well you had a dislike for medical treatment.

“Going to tell me what that was? It’s not like it’s my body or anything.”

“Oh, now you care what’s in your body? Pity you didn’t think about that earlier when you were making yourself blind.”

“But it’s so hard to do something stupid if you take the time to stop and think about it.”

“What’re you laughing at,” McCoy said, his voice directed away from you. There was muffled laughter, probably from the nurses station, that stopped abruptly. “If I figure out who’s snickerin’ behind my back I’ll put them on biohazard detail for the rest of the mission so I suggest y'all shush. Now.”

There were a few more snickers followed by the swish of a pneumatic door. Probably decided on an impromptu coffee break until the coast was clear. You wished fervently that you could go with them.

“Lay down,” he commanded. Usually that was the kind of order that made you wet and was followed by a whole lot of hands on doctoring in his quarters. Today was not usual. The bio bed shook as he punched at the controls furiously.

“I think we caught it in time. At least you had the good goddamn sense to say something right away.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Is it what the Hell I see in you? 'Cause I’m beginning to wonder myself.”

“Jesus, Leonard. I know losing my eyesight is hard for you but can you trying being a little less of an asshole until I can see well enough to walk away? Your bedside manner is really starting to piss me off.”

There was a long silence and then he sighed deeply. “I’ll have Chapel check on you every once in a while. Let her know if you need anything.”

The swish of the bio bed curtain followed, leaving you to listen to the assorted beeps of the Medbay, awash in the scent of antiseptic and the feel of the coarse bio bed sheet, and try your very best not to feel abandoned.

You tried to quell that little seed of terror that was always planted when you were at the mercy of medical personnel, but in spite of yourself it took root in the pit of your stomach, inexorably making its way towards your throat. You clenched your hands on the sheet and tried to force the terror back through sheer force of will but the effort made your eyes tear. When you opened them to try to blink back the tears you realized that your vision had gone completely black and the best you could manage was to cry quietly and hope no one could hear you.

The sound of someone pulling back the curtain around your bed startled you. You must have drifted off because your face felt tight from your dried tears.

“I brought you a warming blanket.” It was a woman’s voice, probably Christine Chapel. At least Leonard hadn’t come back to keep yell at you. “It gets cold when you’re not moving around in here.”

You felt a warmth envelop you as she spread the blanket over you, putting the control in your hand and showing you how to adjust it.

“Can I get you anything?”

You shook your head no, fresh tears welling up behind your eyelids. Your efforts to keep them from spilling over where in vain and you could feel them running down your face.

“Are you okay? Does it hurt?” Christine’s gentle questions were enough to push you over the edge, and you started sobbing in spite of yourself, feeling like an absolute idiot for not being able to hold it together, which only made you feel worse and sob harder.

“I can’t see,” you said when you could manage to speak again. Taking the tissue Christine placed in your hand and wiping your face. Your eyes were starting to throb.

“I know it’s hard,” she said, taking the tissue from you and giving you another one as fresh tears welled in your eyes.

“Is it supposed to be getting worse though? I can’t see at all anymore.” You heard a hitch in Christine’s breathing, and then her hand on your face steadying your head.

“Let me take a look,” she said. You opened your eyes and waited as she examined your eyes, following the directions to look straight ahead, up and down, left and right. After a moment, she took her hand away, handing you yet another tissue. “I’ll be right back.”

You shivered under the warming blanket, trying not to panic as you heard Christine go into Leonard’s office, the door swishing shut after her and blocking out any of their conversation.

Shit. You’d really fucked up this time. Leonard was right, you were a complete and utter idiot for not just telling him you had too much work and instead trying to stay awake longer to squeeze in studying, working, and training using that energy booster crap one of the engineers swore was harmless. You knew better and you did it anyway.

The swish of the curtain and Leonard’s hand on your arm startled you out of the pit of despair your mind had been digging. He went through the same exam that Christine had just done. You could hear the sound of his voice and hers but even though they were right next too you, you just couldn’t process the sounds to get meaning from them as you focused on just trying to breathe as panic threatened to asphyxiate you.

There was a pinch on your arm and gradually the panic melted away and you could focus on the world around you again, the low level anxiety churning your stomach made you feel ill but otherwise kept to itself.

“How'r ya doin’,” Leonard asked, his hand finding yours under the blanket and squeezing gently.

“M'okay.” You felt like you were floating and detached from your body. Your mouth wasn’t working right either. “Drugged me, you bastard.”

“Yeah, had to. The anxiety was raising your blood pressure and making things worse. I need to put some drops in your eyes. Think I can do that without them getting washed out?”

“Mmm. 'Sss.” Your eyelids drifted shut. So tired. “Hole,” you finally said, remembering to finish your word. You heard Leonard asking Christine how much she had given you. He sounded amused and you just wanted to smack him but your arms felt like lead so you just glared at him until you remember it wasn’t very effective with your eyes closed so why bother.  
—  
The next time you woke, Medbay sounded crowded, lots of conversations and movement. No one was yelling or screaming though. Shift change, you decided, rather than emergency. Great. Did anyone even remember you were here?

“Welcome back, sleepyhead,” Leonard said from right beside you. The rhythm of the bio bed increased as you remembered why you were here and tried to open your eyes. You felt his hand on your arm and one on your jaw line, brushing away fresh tears that had sprung up.

“You’re fine, I promise,” he whispered in your ear. He tucked a tissue in your hand and you felt a weight being lifted off your eyes—an eye mask. “Open your eyes.”

You opened your eyes but everything was a dull grey smear. A lighter spot moved across your vision and then disappeared. Leonard replaced the face mask.

“It might take a day or two, but your vision will come back,” Leonard said, settling in again beside you from the distance of his voice and the creak of the chair. “How do you feel about getting out of here?”

“How’m I supposed to do that? Can’t see for shit, remember,” you mumbled.

“Well, the only reason to keep you here is to keep your anxiety down and make sure you can take care of yourself. I’m willing to bet you’d have less anxiety in either your quarters or mine as long as someone’s there.”

You felt Leonard move closer, his breath tickling your ear. “You know, when you lose one sense, you become more aware of the others. Like touch. I can promise you one Hell of an apology if you’ll let me, Darlin’.”

Well, shit. There it was. That tone that made you want to spread your legs and take him in, no matter how fucking pissed off you were with him five seconds earlier. You had a love/hate relationship with that voice and he knew it.

“I sorry I vented my anger at you. And I’m sorry I didn’t take your white-coat anxiety into account.” He massaged the tense muscles at the crook of your neck and waited for your verdict. “It makes me anxious when you get hurt, you know.”

“It better be a good apology,” you muttered, pushing yourself up and letting him push the blanket aside and help you sit up on the bio bed.

He helped you down, briefly holding you against him when you stood up so that he could whisper in your ear but no one else could hear. “I’ll spend all night apologizin’ if necessary.”

“Oh, it’s going to be necessary,” you said, swaying a bit as he let go. Staying upright without eyesight was not as easy as you thought.

He pressed his lips to yours briefly, but you kept your mouth closed when he tried to deepen the kiss. “You’re really gonna make me work for this aren’t ya,” he said against your lips.

“Absolutely.”

“It’s a good thing I find you sexy when you’re angry.”

“That’s going to cost you.”

“I’m always willin’ to pay, Darlin’.” He pulled back the curtain around the bio bed and guided you out. “I have the feelin’ tonight’s going to be expensive.”


End file.
